Oh No! This is so wrong!

How Far Can You Carry The Flaming Bag??!

Presents:

How Far Can You Carry The Flaming Bag??!

The Sport!

Circa year 2000.

The objective is to gain as much distance as humanly possible while grasping a flaming bag, i.e. a bag that is on fire and burning rapidly. The farther you get, the more better you become!

The Rules

From a standing start, holding a paper grocery bag, stocked with paper and other flammable junk, light it, make sure it's lit, and RUN! FAST!! It is tradition to have a goal, i.e. something that you can throw the burning, charred, firey bag remains into at the finish area. A metal barrel does just fine for me. Remember, you haven't won until you've disposed of the fire! Drop the bag before it gets to the barrel, and YOU LOSE! and you will feel STUPID! SO STUPID!!

The Reasoning

One day, Dan was at his parents house, and discovered that all the old paper and garbage was going to go to waste! And what have we, the caring citizens of Earth, learned about waste? Recycle! So Dan packed up a carefully prepared bag of junk, grabbed his properly adjusted lighter and headed down Morinelli Drive. As people began to eye him suspiciously, he turned and began to run, very fast, holding a.. bag..? behind him? Soon they realized that there were flames bursting out of the bag, but still Dan continued his stride! He ran up his long driveway, and to his backyard, and yet the flames still grew! How much more could he take?? And then... silence.. and a single cheer. He had made it to the barrel, with only minor injuries. It was this day that God looked upon Dan and proclaimed "I deem thou amazing!". "'tis correct.", replied Dan. And so, saving the earth from more waste, burning calories, and becoming the hero of the day, he strides back inside to reap the benefits of exhaustion.. a tasty beverage! Ahhhh, much better.

Why You Too Can Play

Because I originally forced my brother to play, and he enjoyed it highly. (except for the time the bag suddenly burst into flames before he even got to the starting point) I invite everyone to play, start tournements, and create your own versions of "How Far Can You Carry The Flaming Bag", while informing me of your high adventures in burning amusement!

My Playing Field

The first pic is taken from about the three-quarter point. If you look into the distance, at the approximate center of the pic, this is the starting point.	The run begins from the T-intersection (at the starting point) down this road. The bright section indicates path run.
Back at the three-quarter point we see the front yard, traveling into the back yard.	Rotating 90 degrees, we see the final path through the back yard, with the barrel at the end of the run.

What Makes This The Greatest Sport of All-Time

Because it's worth paying to see this kind of insanity in action! It's worth sponsoring, competing for and against, living and dying for, AND dedicating libraries of research and hordes of developmental dollars to. Thank you, and I'm glad I too can help make the internet, world, and general populace a better place.

There have been reports of others playing We had a guy contact us from Missouri a while back. A league was created, using a local store's parking lot as the playing field. The game here has been kept fair by seperating the mens and womens events, along with dual runs. Very sweet.

Brand new! I have now gone completely insane

EXTREME How Far Can You Carry The Flaming Bag??!

The way it happened

Frank

So Frank and I were on a road trip to GB. We stoped at the OneStopShop and picked up a couple hundred bucks worth of fireworks. We arrived at our destination, and proceded to build arrays of bottle-rocket bombs. Noting that we had to clean up the carnage, we ceased for the night and caught some sleep. The next day shined with potential. Frank had the idea. What if we put a couple of grosses of bottle rockets into a bag? It was on.

The creation of real danger

(band-aids)